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“Wake up, man!” My coach yelled with intensity at me while I sucked wind on an Assault Bike during a cold 5:30 am class in a warehouse.
The reason for his words, I was yawning while working out.
My response, without thinking, once you have kids, you’ll get it.
It was a bit of a d*ck move, but the truth was, I was offended. I was up late the night before with a sick child, who ended up sleeping next to me, and neither of us got much of it. According to my sleep tracker, I had slept for less than six hours before driving in the dark to a 5:00 a.m. workout class.
I was tired, and I earned this yawn. Yeah, stop yelling at me, man. I am not trying to go to The CrossFit Games; I am just trying not to have a stroke at 50.
When it comes to being offended, I am light years ahead of where I was even 5 years ago, but the residue of being overly sensitive still lingers. Here is what helps:
Being easily offended is a symptom; ego and insecurity are the root.
When finding something offensive, reflect and don’t react. This bothered me. Why?
Getting yelled at for yawning in a workout class offends you because you know deep down you could be pushing your body a bit harder.
Being told your work is a “mess” by a boss offends you because you think deep down you think you should have her job and wonder why you’re not further along professionally.
You see a photo on Instagram of a dinner with friends you were not invited to, and your reaction is that those are lousy friends anyway.
An offense occurs because a nerve is touched that is sensitive; if not, then you wouldn’t feel anything. If someone told me I was a bad dancer, I would laugh and say, “Yeah, I’m terrible,” because they were right.
Instead of wallowing in what a jerk the other person is, ask yourself, Why did I let this bother me so much?
Your takeaway:
When I’m offended, is it really about the other person, or did they just hit a nerve I have been ignoring in my soul?
Do I reject uncomfortable feedback or moments because I’m insecure, or because there’s a truth to this feedback that I don’t want to face?
Can I train myself to reflect before I respond, especially when I feel easily angered?
When you receive criticism, try to find the kernel of truth in it and learn from it.