The one thing I hope my kids never say about me

As a father of 3 kids, there is one sentence I hope they never utter about me.

I have three daughters—they are 7, 5, and 2. Being their dad is not just a role but one of the greatest joys of my life. In addition to being their dad, I am also a husband, son, brother, and friend.

Scott Galloway discusses the masculine urge to procreate, protect, and provide. It’s hard to argue with that, as all three are primal aspects of being a man. However, in this short post, I want to discuss the final urge—the desire to be a provider — someone who provides materially for your family.

I have worn many hats in my career, and I still do. I have a full-time W-2 job in the knowledge economy, founded and operate a consulting agency, and am a professional speaker, author, and coach. In previous careers, I founded and led a Christian congregation, worked for myself as a corporate trainer, and have had my fair share of jobs with my hands - mostly in warehousing.

I do a lot—some may say too much, but here is what is always front and center.

I am not a particularly hard worker.

If you were to ask my kids about what their dad is like (and I hope this answer remains true in their adulthood), near the bottom of the list would be “he worked hard.”

Which is true. I don’t work that hard or that much.

Yes, I wake up at 5 a.m. most mornings to jumpstart the day. I have to-do lists, full calendars, Delta SkyMiles, and a CrossFit membership. I volunteer at my church, am planting a vegetable garden, and spend more time than I wish I did maintaining my home, but there is something I learned a long time ago.

Be efficient where you can be efficient, so you can be slow where you should be slow.

You can’t be efficient at dinner, bedtime, homework, or Sabbath Saturdays. However, you can efficiently zero out your inbox, timeboxing tasks, or say no more than you say yes.

Busyness is not a virtue; it’s a cancer, so I aim to avoid it. With every passing year, I want to speed up what can be sped and slow down what can be slowed. I want to do less, not more, and do what I do with better quality, knowing that the quality of our time together matters most.

I don’t do this perfectly and likely never will. Perhaps as my kids age, I’ll hit a higher gear in hours worked than I did before they came, but until then, I am learning to be okay with slowing down where I can and speeding up where I should, finding a balance that works for me and my family.